I guess our generation of women are the most cursed ones. There is this constant tug of war going on between traditional and modern and today’s women are the ones to suffer the greatest brunt of this friction.
She’s strong, independent, powerful. She has her own thoughts and opinions. She voices them. She’s independent and takes her own decisions. She is – first person. And suddenly, she gets married and things change. They undergo an upheavel and she’s expected to leave all that behind. She’s expected to leave everything she has worked so hard for, behind and take a vow to be the ideal traditional bahu.With most indian households having traditional conservative parents, the young new bahu is expected to fulfill everyone’s wishes in the family. She’s expected to leave her job, Unless of course it’s sarkaari, to prove her idealness by doing the so called jobs at homes. And if she decides to not let go of her years of hard work, she’s given no support and she’s landed with double the amount of work that she was previously doing. Above all, she’s also judged every step of the way. She has new relations to take care of, and she needs to constantly prove herself as the good “efficient” bahu.I wonder how many of these things change for men. They continue to be the ideal son without any hindrance from their subconscious that now they also have other relations to take care of, which they pay no heed to. Not denying that sometimes they try to be modern and supportive but things change as soon as they are put in the middle ground between their traditional families and modern wife. The modern individual leave wearing the cloak of responsibilities and what emerges from within is patriarchally conditioned male chauvinist whose masculinity is defined by what his parents think of him or how good a son he proves himself to be by continuously overlooking their mistakes.But what about being a good spouse or a good son in law? What about the promises you made during those pheras in front of 1000s of individuals? How much work is sufficient for you to define it as too much work? Why can’t you understand the mental trauma of the numerous huge changes in your lady’s life?Why?
Last modified: July 22, 2020
