8 Things Every Woman Should Stop Doing Instantly

As woman we do a lot of things from morning to evening, we play various roles from a daughter, mother, wife to a working professional, but there are things every woman should stop doing instantly.

As a woman myself, I understand we are always struggling. It is a struggle to even breathe as a woman, especially if you come from a third world country. I understand how we are taught to constantly strive to fit into societal expectations, constantly told to shrink, constantly told to not open our wings and fly. 

Just imagine if women could do exactly what they wanted to without the fear of any judgements from their family, friends and “Chaar log” who they don’t even know. Just imagine living a life that you know your soul wants and doing the things that make you happy.

Life would be so much different if we lived in a utopian world, where women were heard, felt seen, honored, respected and allowed to take up space without any guilt. But since it’s not, it’s on us to take that ownership and make people in your life learn how to treat you well.

In this blog I am sharing 8 things every woman should stop doing instantly in order to take more control of their lives.

Things every woman should stop doing instantly

Following are a few things every woman should be mindful of in their life.

Not Owning Your Success

One day my ex said, “You should be as successful as you want to be. Gain all the success that you want before our wedding. I don’t want people to say later on that HER success is only because of HIM. I don’t want any credit for your success. It’s your hard work, and the credit should only be yours.” 

Now, I surely didn’t expect him to say something so big so casually, but that’s who he was. Simple and casual (wink, yk what I mean). Leaving that aside, the point I am trying to make here is that I’ve seen many women, including myself, suffer from Imposter Syndrome.

Imposter Syndrome makes you doubt yourself and your abilities even when you have achieved something significant. Don’t! Accept your success wholeheartedly. Shout out your achievements to the world. Garner all the accolades and attention for your success. Own it like a boss!

Saying Yes To Everything

It’s an inherent conditioned need in us women, to fit in and be liked by everyone. But less do we know that that is an impossible task. You can never make everyone like you all the time. This inherent need can force you to be available even at your own expense. It can make you say “yes” to people’s unreasonable demands or requests.

Start saying “NO” more often. If you are someone who struggles to say “No”, start practicing it more often. Learn to refuse politely. Use phrases like “Sorry, I won’t be able to make time for that.” or “I wouldn’t be able to, this time.” 

I have seen my father struggle with this for a very long time and the kind of consequences he has had to go through were certainly not worth those “yesses”. Don’t be a people pleaser. Learn to prioritize yourself.

Being Modest About Compliments

“Dress modestly”, “Sit modestly”, “Walk modestly”

Growing up, how many times have we heard the word MODEST? As women we have always been taught to be modest, act modest. But how modest is too modest?

When someone compliments you, take it with pride. Just smile politely and say “thank you”. Most women tend to downgrade those compliments by saying, “Oh this is just/simply….”. You, every other woman I know have done it. We are all collectively guilty of this.

Recently I did this when my friend said, “You look beautiful.” and I replied, “Oh, not more than you.” When in fact I should have been more receptive to it and accepted it proudly.

Being Ashamed Of How You Look

God! Being a woman is difficult. If bleeding every month was not enough, God also gave us this unachievable beauty standards to reach. Priyanka Chopra wrote in her biography “Unfinished” that her uncle used to call her “Kaali” which is the Hindi version of ugly.

My cousin, thirteen years old, had to struggle with such comments and she came crying to me. My ex, in the initial phases of our relationship said on the lines of “Looks don’t matter. A good heart does.” While he may be trying to compliment me, my insecurities crept in and I felt insulted and disgusted at that time. 

I guess, we as a society need to be more cautious about such socially acceptable insults hurled at women so casually. It’s every mother’s responsibility to teach their daughters to be strong – physically, mentally and most importantly emotionally. Make sure that you do not pass down the trauma of these unattainable beauty standards thrown at us every minute in terms of beauty ads. 

Teach your daughters that they don’t need to look a certain way, that they should not give in to the pressure to look “BEAUTIFUL” all the time. But before that, we need to practice that ourselves. Girls, be proud of your graying hair, your saggy muscles and wrinkled skin. You’ve earned it!

Comparing Yourself And Your Life To Others

It’s a collective human trait to compare yourself to others. If anyone says that they haven’t compared themselves or where they stand in life to somebody else, then I’d say that that person is lying. 

You must understand that every person has their own start and finish line in life. We’re all carving our own paths out of nothing and following our own timelines. Timelines do not actually matter in the larger scheme of life. It does not matter when you reach your finish line as long as you reach it.

Universe works in mysterious ways. And things that are meant for you will not pass you by. It’ll come to you, eventually. Do not compare your life to others. Comparing will only give you unnecessary anxiety. You’ll ultimately reach where you’re supposed to reach.

Remember your reality is different from others, and that doesn’t mean you’re any less than them or vice versa. We’re all meant to follow different paths, have different timelines, and lead different lives.

Being Scared Of Being Alone

For the longest time, I remember myself being scared of being alone. I wouldn’t go out just beacuse none of my friends were coming along, I wouldn’t go to school because my benchmate was not coming, hell I still have not been able to muster the courage to go on that “solo” trip I’ve always wanted to go. 

Now that trip didn’t happen less coz I was afraid of being alone on the top of a hill and not having anyone else to share my happiness with but more coz I wasn’t allowed to. PS – “Brown girl’s issues. You would know if you are one.”

But my point is, it is so liberating. Going away from your day to day responsibilities and doing things for yourself. It is so liberating and so powerful. It fills you up with a certain feeling that you matter, if not to anybody else, then to YOU.

Do more things for yourself. Find time to do the things that make you happy. Pursue a hobby, go shopping, go to that newly opened restaurant, exercise more, feel good about yourself. Do things for yourself because it is empowering.

Compromising All The Time

We as women are always compromising, making space for others in our space, making time for others in our time, crossing oceans for people who won’t even cross a road for you, shrinking ourselves to fit in. It’s time that you stop compromising for people and giving away pieces of yourself to people who don’t care.

It’s okay to compromise as long as it doesn’t eat away from your mental peace and as long as you are weighing the pros and cons and making a conscious decision. 

Remember, compromises work only if they’re done both ways and only if they’re done for the right reasons. Never compromise just because you are afraid of confrontations. Compromises should always happen only after a clear and solid discussion.

Stop Working On Yourself

Trust me, if you do this, it’ll turn out to be one of your biggest regrets in life. Most women stop working on themselves after a certain age and stage in their lives. They stop prioritizing themselves, brushing their needs away in order to fulfill others. 

Never, and when I say it read it like “NEVER EVER” stop working on yourself. It’s good to make time for others, but you know what’s better, making time for yourself. Put out some time for yourself no matter what. 

How you want to utilize that time is on you. You can use it to acquire new skills, sharpen your talents, and better yourself in all aspects of life. Read more books, learn from others’ mistakes. Change is the only constant in life. Don’t be stagnant. Keep marching on. 

Final Thoughts

In the end, I’d say it’s easy to say that “Being a woman is so powerful.” but it’s so difficult to be in tune with that power. Yes, being a woman is so powerful and everything that you seek is within you, but to realize that and to come face to face to that omnipotent inner being, you have to make conscious consistent efforts.

Let us know in the comments below what more points would you add to these 8 things every woman should stop doing instantly?

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Last modified: April 8, 2024